Rules of Life
by The Atomic Cafe
Summary: Peter, James, Sirius, and Remus are bored stiff at Peter's house. Jail, shoes, and rabbits... what next? COMPLETE.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters you recognize from Harry Potter.  
  
Author's Notes: This story is for Artanis Catrina, in hopes for forgiveness and that you will be able to remember Remus's name after this. ( Enjoy, prosper, and... call me. You know my number. I wrote it in your yearbook next to the 'Midgets are taking over the world' comment. In pencil.  
  
This story started as a small challenge. Rules:  
  
â€¢ Someone has to be arrested by Muggle police for indecent exposure. **

**â€¢ Someone must be chased by an enchanted shoe . **

**â€¢ They must encounter a rabbit OF DOOM . **

**â€¢ Someone has to break the person in jail out of jail with a spork . **

**â€¢ Someone has to say "[Insert someone else's name here] is only legal in some states." **

**Must take place in MWPP Era.  
  
Remember Artanis: I know something other than Lord of the Rings, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Remus Lupin. I know Sirius Black.  
  
This story is going by my own reasoning: Remus is a half-blood (JKR approved), Sirius is a pure-blood (JKR approved), James is a pure-blood (JKR approved), and Peter is a muggle-born (not JKR approved).**

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Four twelve year olds sat around in the mostly red room, staring at a blank wall. Remus scribbled down a quick sentence to finish off his History of Magic report. Sirius glanced over at him.  
"How can you even do that?"  
"What?" His eyes lingered to the others while he set down the quill and ink bottle.  
"Write that much on..." Sirius trailed off as he couldn't remember the topic. "Whatever it is!"  
"I pay attention," he answered curtly.  
They were currently at Peter's house, deep in the muggle suburbs. The four were staying for a long, boring week, waiting for their third year to begin at Hogwarts.  
James stood up and paced the room before stopping. "I vote we all go out and do something, anything! I'm bored stiff! Who's with me?"  
The remaining three did not bother to raise their hands or speak. They darted out of the room to the sun-lit outside world.  
  
Sirius panted and hid himself deeper under the tree's shade. "Pete, why didn't you bother to tell us that the weather is ultimate high this year?"  
Peter waved his hand as quick as possible to create a fan. "I didn't know! I swear! Did you expect me to watch the Weather Channel?"  
James and Sirius started to ask what the Weather Channel was, but Remus responded with a loud, "Yes."  
Without a word, Sirius started to take off his shirt to keep himself cool. "Why are we out here to begin with?"  
James started laughing for some reason, though Sirius could not see it until his shirt was completely off and not blocking his view. A strange muggle in a blue uniform was standing in front of him, glaring angrily at the boy.  
Sirius grinned his infamous grin that won the hearts of many girls. Unfortunately, this officer did not fall under the charm. It, as none could tell whether they were male or female, roughly grabbed Sirius and threw him into the car behind it.  
James made to stand and started calling out at Sirius, and Peter and Remus were up, wondering why the car was really bearing Sirius away. The dark haired boy grinned and waved at the other three, laughing. At least his shirt was back on.  
  
"I knew Sirius was only legal in some states," James muttered with a sigh. The three were piled on top of one another in front of the gray prison. Peter pointed out that Sirius was too young to go to jail as the car pulled away, but it seemed that others shared a different view.  
"Hurry up, Peter," Remus hissed as his arm started to slip. Peter smashed his foot on Remus's head.  
"I could if you both shut up!" A screwdriver was in hand as he tried to pry the bar of a window that belonged to what they could hope was Sirius' cell.  
"James, stop moving your feet!" Remus yelled at James. James, the bottom of the group, continued to do what resembled a jig. His feet were flying every direction.  
"Sirius! Curse the day you were born!" James yelled as loud as possible to Sirius. Sirius' head popped out from between two bars, three windows away. Remus and Peter jumped down and moved to that cell.  
"What did I do again?"  
"You cursed my shoes when school let out, didn't you?" James tripped and his feet continued to fly. Peter ducked to avoid a painful collision to the head.  
James' shoe flew off at that moment and turned, shoelaces brandished like swords. The other shoe soon started to move like the other and managed to make its way off his foot.  
Peter furiously pried at the bars, screwdriver thrown over his shoulder in the panic of the moment. Remus winced as a shoe came down on his head again. Peter sneezed.  
"Remus, see that rabbit over there?" Remus, though he did not see the rabbit, nodded. "I'm allergic to them." Peter sneezed again and blinked, looking at the small critter.  
"Peter, please hurry!" Remus shoved the screwdriver back into his hand. Peter sneezed and dropped the screwdriver again. This was repeated until Remus threw Peter down off his shoulders and tried the bars himself.  
Peter was inches from the rabbit. Though, this rabbit was not normal. It was a bright shade of pink and had large blue eyes. It sniffled at him and started to purr. Peter screamed.  
"It's a Rabbit of DOOOOOOM!" James ran up and crashed into Peter, and the two with the shoes, were sent flying.  
Remus, meanwhile, dug into his pocket and pulled out a spork. "This does come in handy!" he exclaimed, happy with himself.  
  
A nurse walked in and replaced the old flowers with newer ones, bright shades of red and pink, with other colors mixed in. Peter, closest to the flowers, panicked and turned away.  
"How you four managed to do this to yourselves is beyond me," she mused, smiling slightly. Peter had bite marks down his arm from where the bunny attacked him, along with hives. James' feet were patched up with white bandages. Sirius was covered in red marks, do to falling into poison ivy after climbing out of the jail cell. Remus was fine, but after what happened to the other four, was sent to the hospital, spork and all.  
After the nurse walked out, Sirius sighed. "I'm never going to do anything to make it to prison again."  
  
**_Fin_  
  
There. The end. I hope everyone enjoyed themselves. Yes, Remus' spork was out of character, but ignore that. Someone had to save Sirius. I planned for it to be James, and Remus was chased by a shoe, but it turned out different.  
  
Dimgwrthien Mantuar**


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